Monday, March 27, 2017

If the Driver Can't Drive

If this doesn't work...
Image by Azreey
Not that I live in an action/adventure movie or anything, but the other day it randomly occurred to me: What do I do if the driver of this car is suddenly shot by terrorists. Sorry, that's just how my mind works. (This was made even more odd by the fact that my wife, who doesn't ordinarily consort with terrorists, was driving.)

So, once safely back home, I consulted Google (who knows everything) and actually came up with an answer. I don't say it's a good answer, but it is a something rather than a nothing. You can at least act with assurance during your last moments on Earth in case it doesn't work.

Note: Although this emergency knowledge is contained in a list of things a manly man should know in order to be manly (it's #20), I'm fairly sure it works -- if it works at all -- for females too.

So --

Supposedly Useful Directions in Case the Driver Collapses

(from's list of 50 Things Every Modern Man Should Know)

It’s not a great situation to find yourself in; being the passenger of a car when the driver, for whatever reason, loses control of the vehicle. How you react can be a matter of life and death, so do the right thing and engrave the following into your brain:

  • Push yourself over the armrest/centre console to give yourself a better view of the situation
  • Don’t attempt to reach the brake pedal; you can’t 
  • Firmly grab the wheel with your left/right hand (dependent on country!)
  • Actively check as many mirrors as you can to make yourself aware of surrounding vehicles
  • Put the car in neutral and turn on the hazard lights
  • Slowly guide the car to the hard shoulder/emergency lane/clear part of the road, constantly checking mirrors
  • Ensure the car is going straight, and use the handbrake to slowly bring yourself to a stop, by gently pulling it up
  • If the vehicle is moving too fast/about to hit something, slowly apply the handbrake on and off but never full on; this can flip the vehicle or cause it to spin.

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