"Get Outta' My Backyard" Part 2

So there is a worthwhile side to our decided preference that everybody mind their own business. We'd really not be in the position of passing judgement on our Governor's sexual peccadilloes (Although barefaced lying and betraying his wife, kids, and state does make it a lot easier). If he comes back later apologizing in credible fashion and promising to do better, there's a good chance that we'll let him try again. After all, who are we to judge, we're all only human, he's so folksy, etc etc.

But there's also this side: The man on the left kidnapped and abused 3 teen-aged girls for 10 long years in a crowded and active neighborhood of Cleveland and nobody saw a thing. Ariel Castro, who owns the house, was popular and involved in the community.  Fellow musicians and relatives visited, police came out out a couple of times for unrelated reasons, but no one noticed anything amiss. A few neighbors claim they did notice something -- a nude woman crawling in the backyard, odd sounds coming from the house -- and called the police; The police say they can't find any record of these calls.

Headlines are prone to characterize the event as "Missing Girls Found!" I've noticed, but they were not found.  Nobody stumbled upon their jail or followed all the clues until they discovered them. No, this only happened because they escaped -- and one man was there with the guts to help them. Otherwise they would still be prisoners today. A church pastor from the neighborhood named Angel Arroyo said,"We didn't search hard enough. She was right under our nose the whole time."

If all this sounds vaguely familiar it may be because it is. Just 2 years ago in 2009 Jaycee Dugard escaped from a disturbingly similar situation. She had been held captive for 18 years and raped repeatedly. The year before that Elisabeth Fritzl was freed in Amstetten, Austria after 24 years of confinement and sexual abuse. In each case these women and the children they gave birth to were freed due to the alertness and nosiness of  random people who noticed that something was not right and stepped up to do something about it. And as some commentators on the good news from Cleveland have reminded us, so very many women and children are abused all around the world  and too often nobody notices -- or notice but are sheepish about getting in someone else's backyard.

At one point I was going to end this post with a rousing call for "more nosy neighbors and more cops walking a beat."  But that's probably too glib. I really can't think of an answer for this. We certainly don't want everyone monitoring and informing on each other, but I want to catch every kidnapped girl, every abused child and woman, every bullied student, every victim of sexual trafficking. How can we find the balance between personal privacy and knowing enough about our neighbors to recognize that something's not right? It happens sometimes; it needs to happen more. What do we need to change? Can this really be the best we can do?


*UPDATE: Replaced my original photo since, according to police, only Ariel Castro was involved.

"Get Outta' My Backyard!" Part 1

Mark Sanford

Remember this fellow, ex-South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford? I wrote about him here and here back when he was notorious for "taking a mountain hike" by which he meant "carrying on a torrid affair in Argentina." This escapade promptly took him from telegenic, somewhat successful Governor and possible Republican candidate for President with a lovely family to the opposite of all that. Well, he was still telegenic, but also quite toxic politically. That was the end of his career.

Except that now there he is, duly elected Representative from South Carolina's 1st Congressional district. An amazing comeback by almost any standards to be sure. Now he may have won because he worked hard, had a great campaign staff, is telegenic, or because South Carolinians are just wonderful forgiving people.

But I think it might have something to do with Americans's  deep aversion to having folks in their backyards. We're, by and large, uncomfortable with people outing the deep dark secrets of our personal lives and passing judgement on them. And we're particularly uncomfortable if it has anything to do with sex. Nobody is allowed to say anything about what we do in the bedroom since the epic "Summer of Love!" I think there might have been a law passed back then. I'm a bit hazy on my history. Sure we'll peek and titter celebrity sex on TMZ but that's about it. We wouldn't want them looking at us on TMZ!

But with elected officials we know there's the proverbial 'higher standard' that we, as dutiful citizens, hold them to -- particularly if their sexual escapade also includes stabbing your wife and family in the back and telling whoppers to everyone. The loopy abandon Gov. Sanford showed in pursuing his "dream" might signify deeper problems, we reason. And down they go.

Politician Lab rat learning

However, like lab rats, politicians learn. If they're contrite, if they forthrightly admit they screwed up, if they apologize and cast their lives as a story of redemption, if they're telegenic... then we might just cut them some slack. After all, it was "only sex." We wouldn't want anybody peeking in the back windows of our house (or posh Argentine hotel) and judging our sex lives. It'd be different if his dark secret was being a serial killer...

This isn't a new phenomenon, not just "since Bill Clinton." Pres. Grover "two non-consecutive terms" Cleveland escaped a tight squeak in a similar way, adjusted for it being the 19th century at the time.  The country has always had this libertarian streak on a whole host of issues. We just don't like people in our backyards, people questioning how we live. And although we do enjoy reading about you celebrities' indiscretions for our own sordid entertainment, that's about as far as it goes. And you know, we weren't the ones that took those photos of you drunk outside a club at 4 am. That's what we have paparazzi for.

Some people need a second chance. Mr. Sanford may do a bang up job this time. Forgiveness and being open to redemption are probably, for the most part, good byproducts of our libertarian, "stay out of my backyard and I'll stay out of yours" mindset.

But there's a flip side to that. That's what part 2 is about.