Waste Product Mystery

An unheeded warning

Some places in this fair land of ours (i.e., America) have been terrorized by the likes of Bigfoot, Mothman, and even -- as reported here last week -- creepy clowns. But in the normally placid Michigan town of Ypsilanti an unspeakable monster skulks through the streets and alleyways in the dead of night. Evading stake outs and cameras with almost supernatural ease this creature mysteriously leaves his or her dreaded calling card on the plastic kiddie slides of the city: Piles and piles of excrement. Yes, I speak of the 'Mystery Pooper!'

Some believe the pooper is some sad soul denied bathroom privileges when they were in grade school. Others feel certain that these deposits are the product of a sporadic wormhole connecting Prospect Park with some unimaginable alien 'toilet.'

And others, of course, say it's just Michigan's Bigfoot answering the call of nature after a pizza dinner.