Wednesday, April 06, 2016

"Get Outta My Yard!"

Mr. Newman, World's Saddest Dog ™, realizes he's going up the river

Sick and tired of that dadgummed neighbor dog doin' his business in your petunias? Yeah, we all are. But now we can turn the big guns of technology against those consarned rapscallions (and their owners, who are probably standin' right there, watchin') and catch 'em dead to rights! That's right Rover, you can't hide under the porch anymore.  We're going to solve the mystery of whose poo that is in our yards the same way we crack all the big cold cases nowadays: DNA.

A Tennessee company named PooPrints makes a business of swabbing every dog in an apartment complex (in their mouths, not other more poo-oriented orifices) so they can match them to the genetic fingerprints of offending anonymous defecators.

Canine crime doesn't stand a chance. You can even become a distributor!

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