Cavemen Ate Their Oats

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Archaeologists have long fretted that ancient cave persons concerned about their cholesterol had few options. A steady diet of Mammoth steaks no doubt clogged their arteries quickly, leading to an early death.

But now comes news of a stunning paleolithic health breakthrough that, together with exercise and a healthy diet, was guaranteed to increase lifespan by decades -- not to mention helping with annoying irregularity!

Just like their modern counterparts, especially in Scotland, good little cave girls and boys sat down every morning to a hearty, steaming hollowed out rock of oatmeal.  Thus fortified they hopped on the  bronto-bus and headed off for a full day at hunting and gathering school.