"Super-Agism"

"I'll destroy you all!!

Photo by Marge

What's the most urgent threat faced by the world today? Terrorism? Climate change? Asteroids?

Not according to Moody's. The greatest menace our planet faces in the next two decades is old people! There are too many of 'em, and they're growing exponentially! By the time they reach critical mass around 2030 the malevolent aged will be sucking the world economy dry, with 34 major nations thrashing blindly about in a condition economists call, with hushed, trembling voices, "Super-Agism!"

Is your nation Super-Aged already? Well, take this test: 1.) Are you a doddering old coot (<-- inclusive term) of 65? 2.) Is 20% of your country's population just like you? If you answered, "Yes, consarn it, ye young whipper-snappers!" both times, then you are a plague on humanity. Right now that only includes ancient 65-year-oldsters in Germany, Italy, and Japan, but just you wait. Age is like cockroaches, and sooner or later it will overwhelm us all!

What are we to do? What regrettable but necessary measures will your children be forced to take so that the pillars of civilization won't crumble down around their iPads??

Two words: Soylent Green.