Clark the Sad Bear Snaps

Most of the world has probably heard by now but I'll repeat the epic news for context: In January the Chicago Cubs deployed their first-ever mascot -- Clark the Sad Bear. Officially he's just "Clark," but... just look at his eyes! He virtually embodies Chicago's valiant struggle to stay hopeful under the crushing weight of agonizing Cubs history. Don't you just want to give the little guy a hug? Clark could have a breakdown at a moment's notice. 

Which is why, beneath that pitiful exterior, there may well be a volcano of seething anger waiting to explode.

There are some things you just don't do. And like Batman, one of them is pulling off Clark's head... if you want to live.