Friday, October 13, 2017

I Vote For McIntire!

Voting Booth

What if they gave an election and nobody came?

That's what happened in McIntire, Iowa the other day (well, really back in august but "the other day sounds more folksy"). It was a special election, too! They were asking the 70 registered voters of McIntire if it was ok for the Mayor and city council to stay in office twice as long as they have been.

"Don't really care," was the resounding answer from the citizenry, including, if you think about it, the other 40 who weren't registered. Even the various city officials apparently thought it wasn't worth the bother.

A Few Paragraphs would humbly like to suggest that the rest of the country follow the bold democratic example of McIntire and just ignore the next few elections -- the big ones, anyway. Think how much better off we'd be if nobody at all voted last November. For anybody.

And don't worry, I'm pretty sure that under the law whoever was in office has to leave when their term is up, whether there's a replacement or not. The bureaucracy will keep things running.

We'll be fine.

Monday, October 09, 2017

Fancy a Piece of Sea Pork?

Florida sea pork
Continuing on, however tenuously, with our "pork" theme from yesterday's church sign featuring the apparently quite delectable pastor Ressler of Saint Louis, I present you with "Sea Pork," the plague of South Carolina beaches. In fact, they invade beaches all up and down the eastern seaboard and into the Gulf, surprising hapless swimming children and wandering beachcombers by their self-defense technique of imitating a large pile of mucus or discarded squid intestines.

Tempting as that may sound, you probably should curb your desire to throw some fresh sea pork on the grill, although various fish, skates, and sharks favor them. Supposedly they got their name because people thought they looked like a piece of fatback, perhaps washed up from some sunken sea kitchen. I certainly never would have thought of that, but they say that the sea can play tricks on a man's mind...
The lovely blue sea squirt

Deliciously (?) enough, the little amorphous masses are also known as 'Sea Liver.'

In reality they aren't pig livers or hearty gobs of snot sneezed into the ocean by some salty sailor who's a bit under the weather. Instead they are members of the happy-go-lucky tunicate sub-phylum, which includes much prettier, but still not delicious, looking creatures, such as the Blue Sea Squirts. Many tunicates live together in colonies, and when sea pork floats onto your foot it's usually a dead colony that floated to the surface as corpses tend to do and was washed ashore by a storm.

Another reason not to toss it in your frying pan to have with your morning eggs that.

Saturday, October 07, 2017

Puppies in Trouble

A very mellow (but guilty) puppy
Just so you know, if you use medical marijuana -- or whatever other kind you might possibly have -- you might want to stay out of Illinois. Studies show they have the third highest incidence of your dog eating your stash (Colorado's number 1, like you couldn't guess)!

Friday, August 25, 2017

Harvey and Me

Harvey coming for a visit

So as it happens, the mighty city of Conglomeration is right in the middle of all the hurricane Harvey action -- on "the dirty side," as we like to say. Follow me on Twitter at @Pleonic for all the mayhem until our electricity goes out or our house flies away.

UPDATE: All this post did in the event was to point you guys to my Twitter app, so I've decided to archive all my Tweets from Harvey right here for posterity.

  1. Note: it was flooded the next day and we had to be evacuated.

  2.   Retweeted
  3. What one of the rare un-flooded neighborhoods in looks like.
  4. Houstonians are cool.

  5.   Retweeted
    Thin band of heavy rain between Katy, Sugar Land and Missouri City. Another 2-3" in the last hour.
  6.   Retweeted
    This event is unprecedented & all impacts are unknown & beyond anything experienced. Follow orders from officials to ensure safety.
  7. How things are at the moment...
  8. Watch out Carolinas.

  9. I45, which cuts right through the center of Houston

  10. Flooding downtown in the medical center

  11. In the Heights

  12. Lots of people being flooded out of their homes here.

  13. Our street on NW side still doing pretty good despite 2 days of steady rain. Lots of flooding elsewhere, tho.
  14. Solution: Arm the stewards with tranquilizer darts. Works on angry rhinos.

  15. What I was talking about earlier.
  16. Had 2 take shelter 4 a tornado warning in our heavily armored ground floor bathroom. Knew it had no chance & passed us by.
  17. At least one person has died in Texas (in Rockport) in the wake of Hurricane Harvey, says Mayor C.J. Wax --
  18. Here's where Conglomeration, TX is in the bowels of Harvey according to the Weather Underground's radar.
  19. The rain has really picked up in the last few minutes!
  20. The winds they got...

  21. Case in point... So sad. Rockport is such a lovely little town. Praying for the people there.

  22. And now, back to our show.
  23. (3) ...and Rockport, TX is an example today of this blinders - on philosophy.
  24. (2) ...and it's people who believe this tripe who want to deny poor people the social safety net they need to survive.
  25. This is pure twaddle & if Bill Gates said it he's an idiot. N d real world illness, disaster, layoffs in old age, etc can leave u w/ nothing
  26. Not much happening here in west Conglomeration, TX.
  27. It's goingfor Austin, tho.
  28. Harvey's not aimingat us -- yet!

  29. "Harvey and Me" "Harvey comes to visit..."
  30. Not much happening yet where we are. Just some rain and some tornadoes. Night all.